To Freedom

I’m famous for using the analogy of the goldfish in the bowl who doesn’t know what water is until you pluck him out and say ‘there!’.

I use this as a metaphor for the ‘matrix’ like reality that we experience.

One thing that came to my awareness yesterday is a slightly different version of this.

Before I go on, it’s important for you to know that I have an open G centre in my Human Design. The not self of the open G looks for love and direction, so this perspective I’m about to share may make no sense to those with fixed G’s.

Go to my recommendations section if you are not familiar with the Human Design System.

Back to my insight.

I described it to my friend yesterday as ‘can you only understand where you are by going somewhere else?’.

It’s similar to when I become aware of a limiting belief that was previously running outside my conscious awareness. When I was ‘coming from’ it, I couldn’t observe it.

Once I become aware of it, I no longer ‘was it’ and therefore could observe it.

Put another way, I went from an subjective experience of the belief, to an objective experience.

Let me use an example from my life to illustrate this. It’s about a year ago now that I had an ‘ego death’ experience. A ‘dark night of the soul’ if you will.

What triggered that off was when I forced myself into a decision to move to London.

While I had been talking for years about how much I wanted to live and work in London, it turned out deep down I didn’t. This was evident to me by the emotional breakdown that followed the decision.

I use this as an example because for years prior, I honestly believed I wanted to go to London. I believe that would make me somebody. Make me ‘better’.

So that was my long term ‘subjective’ experience.

Then when the move became real, ie I gave the OK to a landlord that I would rent a room in his place for £900 a month, my perspective shifted.

My living in Grimsby suddenly became objective and I was able to see it in a completely different light.

This happened within hours of me making the decision. That was despite 5 previous years of on and off talk about wanting to move there.

Did you get that? 5 years of believing that I would be better off in London than Grimsby.

What is strange is that, based on the example I’ve given, I didn’t actually have to make the physical move. I only had to make it in my mind.

I don’t believe I could have accomplished the same breakthrough using some kind of mental exercise because I would know deep down that it was an exercise and therefore not ‘real’.

However, when I said yes to this landlord, I had literally two weeks to move my life to London. That felt real.

My purpose in exploring this is to understand the value of change.

If you press on to someone’s skin and then hold it there long enough, the nerve habituates and they cease to feel it, until you move the finger and change the stimulus.

The brain is designed to notice when something changes.

Putting this together with what I’ve explored, perhaps staying the same is like that finger pressing on the skin.

You don’t know it’s there until it moves. This leads me to think about the value of changing things for the hell of it.

It makes no sense to change the stuff I am happy with, but the stuff that it just ‘ok’ would perhaps be worth changing up.

If only to put it into perspective.

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