To Freedom

En Route to the Satori experience mastermind retreat in Nepal. Before leaving this morning I was imagining the moment once the trip is over and I am back home with the trip only as a memory. Almost as if it never happened. It will seem like only a moment before I was sat writing this message. This reminds me of the importance of paying attention to the present moment, even if all I’m doing is sat on my own waiting for the train as I am right now. I could quite easily wish this away, wanting to get to ‘the interesting stuff’ like the scenery in Nepal but that would be foolish since that only forms a small portion of the trip and life in general. Paying attention to every present moment keeps you engaged in life for as long as we have it. It’s not always easy to do but I believe it’s worth it because it gives you more life.

I’ve lost my edge of optimism these couple of days, which happens to each of us at times since life and our plans don’t always go exactly as we would like.

I think my problem is one of self acceptance. I was talking to my sister Gill about this as she drove me to the train station. In NLP we say that each of us has a series of meta programs. These are our own patterns of behaviour in thinking and acting.

One meta program that relates to motivation is ‘Towards Away’. That is, are you motivated when you see something you want and move towards the pleasure you will get when you obtain it, or are you motivated when you see some potential pain and move into action in order to avoid it?

As an optimist I really thought of myself as a towards person. I figured if I’m an optimist then I have to be towards. However as I continued my process of self discovery and profound self honesty, I’ve realised that I have a stronger away motivation than towards.

Of course I am motivated towards pleasure otherwise I would never have taken this trip in the first place but since booking it many of my involuntary thoughts have been themed around the negatives.

Before I discovered this truth I saw myself as towards motivated because I really really wanted to be. I saw towards motivated people as somehow ‘better’ because they go after the good stuff rather than trying to avoid the bad.

I still would much rather be a towards motivated person and as an NLP practitioner I have the tools to change this and I am doing so. But for the time being I still have this lack of self acceptance, accepting the fact that for now this is the way things are. I have the ‘away’ meta program installed and I need to accept the fact before I can do anything about it.

I can clearly see how the away motivation program I have is distorting reality. It’s taken in all the cautionary information I read on the governments travel website and created a negative picture so exaggerated that it’s most likely unrecognisable by someone who has actual direct experience of going to Nepal.

I am firm believer in direct experience as one of, if not the most powerful tool for personal change. This is what is going to happen to me.

I am very much looking forward to the moment when I arrive and get to compare reality with the distorted picture created by my mind and am able to laugh heartily at the huge difference between the two.

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